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Our latest E-Magazine... (sign up for this FREE E-Magazine here)
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July/Aug 2010
In this issue:
- Chick-fil-A Wants You to Get a Checkup!
- Ministry Tips & Tools
- An Open Letter to Marriage Educators, Mentors, & Therapists: Getting Serious About Preventing Redivorce
- A Response to Persons who Reject Stepfamily Ministry
- Stepparent Quiz: Are You Hitting the Bulls-Eye?
- Couple Checkup & Checkin Exercise
- Successful Stepfamilies in the Media, and more!
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Upcoming speaking events: San Diego, CA (Just Added!); Livermore, CA; Knoxville, TN; Choctaw, OK; Denver, CO
(Do not reply to this email. To unsubscribe, see the unsubscribe link at the bottom of the email.
If you have difficulty reading this or if the links don't work in your email viewer copy & paste this link into your web browser and view the newsletter online: http://www.successfulstepfamilies.com/view/20)
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FREE is Good!
I love getting stuff for free, don't you? If you live near a Chick-fil-A restuarant in West Palm Beach, FL you can try their new Spicy Chicken Sandwich in August and get a FREE online Couple Checkup (a $29.95 value; watch video here). Now that will spice up your relationship! Chicken sandwich aside (which is really hard for me - I love their food!), it tells you something about the quality of the Couple Checkup inventory when a major restaurant chain will attach it's reputation to it. The Couple Checkup really is worth your time (as is The Remarriage Checkup book I coauthored with Checkup innovator Dr. David Olson). Check it out today.
Many of you are busy preparing for your fall stepfamily group/classes so we've packed this issue with ministry tips, tools, and articles to support your efforts (see below). Plus, this issue includes a Stepparent Quiz, a blog about wicked stepmothers, and my monthly Couple Checkup & Check-in Exercise that will get you thinking about how well you really know each other.
Don't forget to make plans for how you will celebrate National Stepfamily Day in your home or ministry. Learn more here.
In His Grace,
Ron L. Deal, Founder & President
PS. Forward this to a friend, family member, or ministry leader today.
Home | Articles | Conferences | Donate | Shop | Personal Help |
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Our Mission: Preventing redivorce, strengthening stepfamilies, & breaking the generational cycle of divorce.
We Believe that one way to prevent divorce in the next generation is to prevent redivorce in this generation.
Donate Today
In the Media
To schedule an interview email kristi@rondeal.org
Media to Share:
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HomeLife Magazine Blog & Stepfamilies Forum - read here
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WGN-TV News (Chicago) - watch here (click "Open" when prompted)
Upcoming Training for Ministry Leaders
get more info
Conference Locations
- Aug 7 San Diego, CA - Step Up 4 God event (just added)
- Sept 24-25 Livermore, CA
- Oct 1-2 Knoxville, TN
- Oct 22-23 Oklahoma City
- Nov 12-13 Denver, CO
Get conference details
Your church can host this event.
Therapist training—details here.
Stepmom Workshops with Laura Petherbridge
Visit www.LauraPetherbridge.com
Contact Us
Share your comments or feedback by emailing kristi@rondeal.org. Do not reply to this email.
International Ordering Information
The Smart Stepfamily, The Smart Stepmom, The Remarriage Checkup, and The Smart Stepfamily DVD are available through the international distributors of Baker Publishing Group. Click here for a PDF list of countries and distributors. Our other resources are available only through us. You must email or phone us directly to place an order (international shipping rates apply).
International orders email: nan.deal@successfulstepfamilies.com
Phone: 806-356-7701
Keep Receiving E-Magazine
When your email changes, enter your new address here so you can continue to receive E-Magazine. Be sure to authorize your email program (e.g., Earthlink) to allow emails from admin@successfulstepfamilies.com or you will be blocked from receiving the E-Magazine!
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Issue Special Focus: Ministry Tips & Tools
Featured Articles
· Getting Serious About Preventing Redivorce by Ron L. Deal
Even though 40% of all weddings are remarriages and over 60% of remarriage divorce, redivorce prevention is only occasionally mentioned in the marriage education movement and literature, is rarely the focus of keynote presentations at marriage and family conferences, and receives very little attention in the media. Why? This open letter to marriage educators, ministers, and therapists provides many insights.
· Is Stepfamily Ministry Wrong? A Response to D. by Ron L. Deal
"I am puzzling over this ministry. Since divorce, and all that leads up to it and following it are things that God hates...why would a Christian devote ministry resources to something that is not part of God's plan?"
· Stepparent Quiz: Are You Hitting the Bulls-Eye? by Ron L. Deal
Stepparents, you can’t control every response from stepchildren, but you can manage yourself as you seek connection with them. Take this self-examine to see if you are hitting the bulls-eye.
True False Even when discouraged, I try to stay emotionally engaged with my stepchildren.
True False I create and take advantage of opportunities to connect with my stepchildren’s interests (e.g., sports, music, books, movies, youth group, etc.)
True False My stepchildren would say that I take interest in their activities and support them (e.g., attend performances and events, show regard for their desires, appreciate their talents, etc.)
True False I am generally warm and friendly toward my stepchildren. They feel safe with me.
True False My spouse does not feel threatened by my actions toward her children.
True False I am intentional about experiencing memorable events with my stepchildren (e.g., taking special trips together, attending concerts or service events together).
True False I express heart-felt value and affection to my stepchildren through verbal and non-verbal means (e.g., saying, “I appreciate you,” giving hugs, or developing fun “inside” jokes).
True False Friends of our family would say that I, even when rebuffed, am stubbornly persistent in caring for my family and developing deeper bonds with my stepchildren.
After completing the quiz, consider how you might improve in each area.
From the Archives: Find hundreds of articles for dating couples, stepfamily couples, and church leaders here
o Keeping Your Cool in the Heat of Summer Visitation by Natalie Nichols Gillespie
o Permission Forms for Stepfamilies - school is around the corner. Do you have the necessary forms?
Couple Checkup & Check-in Exercise
Healthy couples intentionally check-in with one another about aspects of their relationship. Review this finding from Dr. David Olson and Ron Deal’s national survey of healthy remarriages and discuss the questions that follow. Be open to learning about yourself and your relationship.
Research Finding: People don't know their partner as well as they think. When trying to predict the satisfaction level of their partner, couples are wrong 75% of the time. Ever read or watch a story about a divorcing celebrity couple and think, "I guess they didn't know each other very well." Well, all of us could use some clearer glasses.
3 Question Check-in for Couples:
1. Why is it so important for us to know each other's preferences, desires, and interests?
2. Tell your partner (dating or married) something about them that you have recently discovered that surprised you a little.
3. Would having more understanding of each other and our relationship be an asset to us? If so, how?
To find out, take the online Couple Checkup. Understand-Share-Grow
Adapted from The Remarriage Checkup: Tools to Help Your Marriage Last a Lifetime by Ron L. Deal & David H. Olson, Bethany House Pub., 2010.
National broadcast HomeWord and Dr. Jim Burns recommend The Remarriage Checkup book - listen here
Now Available
The Amazon.com bestselling book The Smart Stepfamily by Ron L. Deal is now available for the Amazon Kindle. Buy it here.
Also available on Kindle: The Smart Stepmom & The Remarriage Checkup
Shop all resources here
HomeLife Blog & Stepfamily Forum: Join the Discussion
Ron is a regular contribute for the new HomeLife Magazine Blog. Read a recent post below; read all the posts from your favorite experts here. Even better, start a discussion on the Stepfamily Group Forum.
June 21, 2010
A Wicked Stepmother, Ron L. Deal
Kyron Horman is missing. The 7 year-old boy from Oregon has been missing for over two weeks and authorities are looking everywhere to find him. It must have been the stepmother, right?
Apparently authorities are now taking a closer look at Terri Horman, Kyron’s stepmom. Of course, I have no idea whether in this case the stepmother is guilty, but what is troubling is that society finds it easy to believe that a stepmother is the culprit. One post to an online news report said, “The stepmom was my first thought.” Another said, “Typical story. Divorced father gets custody of his child, hooks up with another woman. Life is great at first…Then things start to come apart.”
When a biological mother is accused of harming their own child, doubt is our first reaction (“How can that be? A mom would never do that!”). But stepparents rarely get that benefit of the doubt. Did you know that the original version of Cinderella (and other popular fairy tales) portrayed the mom as the wicked parent who abused her own daughter? Later, the Brothers Grimm changed the story to a wicked stepmother so it was more “acceptable” and, therefore, more marketable, to society. And still today, we are quick to judge.
It’s my experience that stepmothers (and stepdads) are not wicked or evil or manipulative. Except in a few highly publicized cases, they are distinctly sacrificial and deserve a pat on the back from society. We just celebrated Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Today, say thanks to someone’s stepparent.
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Ron L. Deal is author of a series of books for stepfamilies including The Smart Stepmom (with Laura Petherbridge). Watch their YouTube video here. Find support at www.SuccessfulStepfamilies.com.
Donate Today
A recent donor shared their heart with us.
"Thanks for your recent E-Magazine and explaining your financial situation. We felt led by the Lord to send you a one-time gift towards your ministry... Thanks for your ministry to stepfamilies such as ours and we pray you will be given funding to continue and expand this valuable work."
Bruce & Linda W.
BC, Canada
We love to hear from you as well. Contact us.
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[[ Begin Static Link ]] Successful Stepfamilies provides practical resources, free articles, and conference information to families and the churches that serve them. Their web site is the largest, most visited, and most referenced site for Christian stepfamilies in the world. Build your stepfamily (blended family) or marriage ministry today. [[ End Static Link ]]
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